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Justin, I really enjoyed your article on shame, and read it twice to better absorb the many helpful insights. It seems to me that much of what you say about shame would also apply to guilt, and I'd suggest that your definition of "shame" -- as "an internal alarm" showing us when our actions are incongruent with what we regard as our true self -- would apply equally as well, if not better, to guilt. I especially appreciate, however, that you stress that shame, which is differentiated from guilt by its public character (shame involves a public rebuke or some other external input, while guilt involves conscience or some other internal source, with or without public awareness of the actions that precipitate it) is nevertheless still basically an internal response. This is more difficult for people to see in the case of shame than it is in the case of guilt.

I'd be interested to hear (or better, read) your analysis of cases where it is not the action precipitating shame that needs correction, but rather what we deem to be our true self. Presumably, our goals and ideals are, in a most fundamental sense, strategies not only for achieving our true or best selves, but also for defining our true or best selves. As such, our ideal self is dynamic and susceptible to revision and improvement in a manner somewhat analogous to our habits and actions.

As an example, I remember when I was a college student involved in athletics, and I was being "rushed" by the "jock fraternity" and wanted to achieve a form of selfhood that was admired, or admirable, for being masculine and attracting the attention of females. One of the seniors who was rushing me noted that the young woman I brought to the rush party was extremely attractive. This made me feel good about myself and I made some sort of comment that insinuated that she and I had a rather torrid romance. Then he asked "How is she in the sack?" I felt shame as I replied that I had no idea how she was in the sack -- and at least part of the shame resided in public humiliation over not being very efficient or successful at seducing women. It took me a while to figure that the problem wasn't that I was inept with women, but rather that I had incorporated the public, Hollywood-reinforced, brand of masculinity into my image of the ideal self. When I revised my values, and what I deemed to be my ideal self, the shaming incident was defused. And I joined a different, better fraternity. In this case it was not my action (i.e., refraining from trying to have sex with my new girlfriend) that needed correction; it was my image of my ideal self that needed correction.

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Justin, I value your and Shane's book lists VERY much, and I'm no slouch when it comes to what I read and what is in my library. Indeed, I am reading Tribe right now, thanks to Shane. What a book! Great books make you think about what you might have already suspected. I'm happy to see you have Stillness is the Key on your list. That is one that I buy and send to friends.

Take care and keep the faith.

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I like fasting but supposedly long fasts are not healthy if you are hypothyroid. What do you know about this or advise for this? 24 hours strict is fairly easy for me but I have never tried 48. Keep the great essays coming.

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